This is an old conversation. People have been debating roleplay vs cybersex for decades, likely since the very first cybersex session.
My view is quite simple, and I think it bears out when reading all the google results 🙂
Cybersex is mostly simple acts of sex. There's very little backstory or character development, if any. Cybersex is mostly “/me giggles as I touch your hoohaa with my winkie!”. Of course I'm just being silly there – Cybersex can and usually does go much further. But, that's the basis of it.
In Cybersex, the players will likely set ages, looks, and a setting, then jump in and play. There's not much else to it. Cybersex is great for when you don't want to think too much, and really want to focus on the sexual aspects.
Roleplay involves some percentage of Cybersex and a good amount of story, character development, and usually a setting. The “players” become characters in an evolving story. My favorite roleplay, as a “reluctant submissive”, would involve a lot of psychology – you don't find that in Cybersex.
Roleplay usually starts with defining characters and their relationship at the beginning of the play. These relationships can and usually do evolve as the play continues. We'll usually define the setting, and other details, like who else might be in the vicinity, the general attitudes of the characters, what they are wearing (if it matters to the roleplay), and of course, the basis of the roleplay scene. We'll normally agree on boundaries or limits, and work together to fill out the scene, if that is required.
In the scene, we take on the persona of the character. We play in character all the time. If we need to say something ex-character, we say it in parentheses (Hey – brb – need coffee). This is normally done in cybersex, but you must do this in roleplay or things can become confusing very quickly.
In short, Cybersex is hot adult chat, and Roleplay is more like an adult game of Dungeons and Dragons, without dice, pens or maps 🙂
Coming soon: I'll create examples of both types of play. I need to come up with something that is acceptable to the general public for this. Yes, it might be boring ;p